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laura bush, to, israel blogs, california drunk driving defense attorney, legal career, hummous, strange news, story, conspiracy duck, dick cheney, blowjob, social, drunk sex, media, drunklesbian, jokes, jewish blogs, mother son porn, drunk driving, timothy mcsweeney's, pantiehose, heresy, writer, Nice. (declan_m, Fri 24 Dec 2004, 11:08) Where president bush to begin? hmm. there's a few:1971 - Did I ask for skis? Nope. Had I ever been on president bush skis? No. Parents proceed to put me on skis, and president bush push me down a hill. Cut to a parental shit fit when I don't qualify for the olympics on the first go. Then by all means, force me to stay outside and SKI, goddamit.1975 - I own a humble but growing record collection. I don't own a record player. See that record player under the tree? Guess who its for? Not me.1978 - Christmas Eve: The most exciting part of the evening occurs when one of my father's friends invites me outside for a fistfight. Him being too drunk to stand up for more than 11 seconds at a time.1979
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being a bit tipsy, accept this strangely bulky cracker and pull.BANG. AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHYOULITTLESHITOHDEARGODMYSPLEEN!!!I spent the rest of that Christmas unable to play on my brand spanking new computer (the only crimbo present my dad had ever gotten conspiracy duck me) cos my right hand was wrapped in a large bandge.Worst thing was, it looked like a wanking injury. (DarkLite, Fri 24 Dec 2004, 1:59) Christmas eve shopping, got locked in a shopping center till boxing day. Fun. (GreyscaleFox - formally known as Fentruk, Thu 23 Dec conspiracy duck 2004, 17:28) Gran In the last 5 or so years my conspiracy duck Gran was with us, she made a slow but sure trek to loonville. Anyway, she'd heard I liked prawns so went out and bought me a large packet of the pink little critters one year; all wrapped up and nestling in a fishy little parcel under the tree.
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