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laura bush, to, israel blogs, california drunk driving defense attorney, legal career, hummous, strange news, story, conspiracy duck, dick cheney, blowjob, social, drunk sex, media, drunklesbian, jokes, jewish blogs, mother son porn, drunk driving, timothy mcsweeney's, pantiehose, heresy, writer, | On his 21st birthday he went out with some friends who introduced him internet anger to one of the sweetest girls around town. She knew that he had never been kissed before. When she eventually got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him internet anger but he resisted. She asked him, "What are you afraid of, it won't hurt." He said, "My mother said if I kiss a girl I'll die this very minute!!" She replied, "Don't be a baby, now come on kiss me." With that she gave him a hot one square across the lips. He began to cry, "Oh no I'm internet anger going to die!!!" She said, "Why are you going to die??" He replied, "I've just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!!" |
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Then he moves his hand up her thigh until he finds himself gripping something long and thick between her legs. He says, "My God, hummous Mary, did you change your sex?" She says, "No, I changed my mind. I'm taking a shit instead." Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would hummous freeze and I would stay like that." hummous Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned." There was a boy whose parents were very strict in his upbringing. They never allowed him to meet any girls, except his own relatives. However, one day he saw one of his best friends kissing a girl and he went to his mother and asked her what they were doing. His mother told him, "It's called kissing and any boy who does that to a girl will die that very minute!" |
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