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| laura bush, to, israel blogs, california drunk driving defense attorney, legal career, hummous, strange news, story, conspiracy duck, dick cheney, blowjob, social, drunk sex, media, drunklesbian, jokes, jewish blogs, mother son porn, drunk driving, timothy mcsweeney's, pantiehose, heresy, writer, | As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: "Watch that fucking wall!" A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him mad at that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll mad at need to ask a few questions. He gets her name, mad at address, social security number, etc. and then asks "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a high-priced whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl!" "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm an elite chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a call girl?" |
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| The second mouse, not to be outdone says, "Oh yeah? Well, you know those mousetraps they put out to try to catch us? What I do is get on the trap, grab the cheese, and then flip over onto my back, and when the steel bar comes swinging down I grab it and do bench presses with it." The third mouse says, "You guys are really to a couple of tough mice, and I'd to love to keep hangin' out with you here, but I gotta go fuck the to cat." A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. |
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