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momfucking son, directory, ascii art, radio, hose, seth diamond, games, humor, laugh, timothy mcsweeney's, foot, devil, answer bear, comic strip live, women, incredible, falafel, | I used to journal work regular late shifts at the local video rental place and would frequently hear journal her stomping about the place after I got home, trying to have a conversation with the dog or something whilst the tablets took effect.One evening I'm sitting quietly in my room, still in full uniform from work, journal having a game of Dungeon Keeper II on my PC before going to bed. Suddenly my bedroom door flies open and in stomps mother branding a fluffy clean towel. "Will you please stop wanking into towels?!!" she says, stoned out of her gourd. I blinked in surprise. Possibly I didn't hear her correctly."I'm sorry?" I asked."We've got perfectly good tissue paper in the bathroom! Use that instead!" she says, giggling like a halfwit."Mother," I said in the self-righteous tone I was prone to using when irritated, "I assure you that I have not been wanking into towels. |
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The man said he would really rather stay there, but the policeman insisted.The car door was opened and the policemen, my cousin and her friends were in for a treat - the man had trousers and pants round his ankles, a cardboard cutout of Baby Spice, and his todger poking through incredible a handy hole in said cutout.Turns out he wasn't dead, he'd just wanked himself unconscious. ( Weetobix, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 10:38) my penis is tiny apologies for length (pb4ugo2bed, incredible Tue 1 Jun 2004, 18:28) I actually got caught NOT having a wank... My mother is disabled due to tremendous problems with her legs. Many years ago, when I was a lad of 17, she could still walk but regularly popped sleeping tablets at night so she could sleep through the pain. The only problem was that they took a great deal fo time to kick in and basically sent her tripping while they took effect. |
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