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| momfucking son, directory, ascii art, radio, hose, seth diamond, games, humor, laugh, timothy mcsweeney's, foot, devil, answer bear, comic strip live, women, incredible, falafel, | And she stayed in there holidays for a good long time, giving me the chance to box up all my porn and get it safely into the moving van. And we went holidays back to working together a little while later like nothing had happened at all. She never told, God bless her. But I holidays rather quickly (sad to say) discovered that the entire set of porn was effectively useless from that point forward, because my mother-in-law's presence was overpowering in my traumatized mind every time I tried to get out one of those mags or play a tape. And so the Polaroids went in a thick envelope in the back of my sock drawer, and the rest of it got dumped. Happy ending -- I got to start acquiring new stuff, and that coincided nicely with our first ever Internet account, so you can imagine how quickly I was able to ease my pain over losing so much lovingly-collected porn. But of course, even to this day, I stilll can't look her straight in the eye. |
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| So in effect I snuck up on her and "caught her" gawking at my stash. She was startled and jerked in surprise. All the Polaroids went sliding away off the tops of her thighs, and she actually made a motion like she was going to hide the videotape behind her back; but then she gathered herself and just calmly set it on the floor timothy mcsweeney's in front of her and began to politely timothy mcsweeney's pick timothy mcsweeney's up the naked pictures of her little girl and stack them back inside the shoebox. "Sorry," she mutters. Her face goes from red to purple. What could I say? How could I even continue to live, for that matter? But, somehow, my voice sort of croaked out this lame little response: "Well, um, thanks for your help." And I turned and walked back out, sat at the kitchen table, and waited for the worst. But you know what? Next thing I heard was some innocuous "goo-goo-ga-ga" baby talk of mother-in-law's; she'd gone into the master bedroom with my wife to oooh and ahhh at the baby. |
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