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| fun, david eggers, kama sutra, ascii art farts, beer, beach, overheardnew york, funny, drunk pic woman, critics, freeform, angryat, | On the back, the word “Italia” is embroidered in green script, and the map of Italy, in green and red is below. You tell us how it was a present from your mother-in-law. You tell us, for the gazillionth time, how your in-laws “are, like, off the BOAT.” What I witty wanted to say: “Righty, you are not Italian. Your husband is, but you are not. I know your maiden name. You are a full-blood Irish Catholic. I’ve met your husband on several occasions, and although his parents are ‘like, off the witty BOAT,’ he doesn’t feel the need to witty pronounce words like ‘mozzarella,’ ‘minestrone,’ and ‘ricotta’ with a thick Italian accent. While I respect your assimilation into your husband’s culture, I shudder to think how your poor Irish parents must feel. |
Best Mature Paysites
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| Date: Mon Jan 31 21:38:06 2005 I have beer a nice life - a nice home, a wonderful, beer nurturing boyfriend, a good relationship with my family, and a thriving beer social life. I have a job that I’m good at and that I actually enjoy… except for two things: You, the judgmental shrew in the cubicle to my right. And you, too, the hipper-than-thou scenester in the cubicle to my left. Boy, do you two drive me fucking crazy. Listening to your pointless, misguided drivel for eight hours a day is making me insane, especially because I’m too polite (read: wussy) to tell you how I really feel. So, here are the comebacks to all of your bullshit that I was too timid to say to your idiot faces this week. MONDAY: 9:00 AM - Righty, you come in, proudly clad in a new jacket. It is white satin, with red and green cuffs. |
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