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| company benefits, david eggers, rage, muslim, mama, jeremy brothers, god, discrimination, triple, writing, stories, tremendous, dave eggers, nude, chicks, israel blogs, sumbissions, asian rape, sex, corpse, pissed at, lingerie, | He's met with the impossible task of holding footfetish a conversation with a person being played by a dead woman. As daunting as it seems, Tony's survived worse. Tony: Ma, we gotta talk. When the fuckin flatfoots come to the door there tryin to make deals with you, you don't know shit, got it? Hey, wait a second...what happened to your head?! Livia: What are you footfetish talking about? Tony: Ma, your head! Its like two times larger than usual...what the fuck is going on? Livia: ::5 second pause, looking the wrong direction:: I don't like that kind of footfetish language, officer! Tony: Ma what the fuck is wrong with you? Livia: Nothing's wrong with me, what's wrong with you? Tony: Oh fuck it. |
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| Tony: So, lemme get this straight, butterhead. You're not only black, you're Jewish too? Noah: Yeah - my parents had this whole rebellious love thing going. See, their parents didn't want them together, and-- Tony: Kid this ain't black history month, shut the fuck up. Noah: What's your problem? Tony: My problem? My problem is that I technically should kill you not once, but twice. god Can you use some of that nuclear fission shit all you flakes up at college study so I can beat the crap out god of your Jew side and god your black side separately? Fuck, cocksucker shit piss motherfuckin. Noah: I take it you want me to stay away from your daughter. Tony: No kid, I want you to fuck the shit out of my beautiful daughter, and have dozens of cute little babies. That way, when me and my wife are trying to figure out what shade of two-tone marble to make our bathroom walls, I'll just hold one of those little motherfuckers up and see which works out best. Get the fuck out of my face. Unfortunately, Tony has more important things to worry about than who his daughter's dating. |
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