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| laws, safety hazards, fiction, statements, duff, funny links, young, barbara bush, meeting, drunk flashing woman, sex, ascii art, erotica, independent media, israel, | What I wanted to say: “While I respect and admire the jesus fact that you jesus love and are proud of your child, give it a rest! You want to see her face during the day? One or two photos will suffice, and maybe you’d stop losing paperwork if you had a square inch or two of your desk that wasn’t covered up with pictures. And all the talk? jesus We KNOW you have a baby. We don’t care. You’re just showing off, trying to make us jealous. All it’s making us is angry.” THURSDAY: 12:00 NOON - Righty, you’re taking a half day so that you can take your daughter up to New York, to meet with an agent and get her into commercials and catalog work. You send out an email to the entire company saying, “I’m out at noon to take my daughter to New York and make her a star!” As you’re about to leave, you can’t find your car keys. “Where are my BMW keys?” you ask. “I can’t believe I can’t find the keys to my BMW. |
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| Your gaze travels down to my black suede boots that I bought last month and you say, “I used to have boots like barbara bush that… back when they were in style.” What I wanted to say: “Go fuck yourself.” 9:15 AM - Righty, you have a new photo of your toddler daughter barbara bush who somehow, I must admit, ended up being adorable. You spend the next hour and a half showing everyone barbara bush who walks by the picture of her making poopy on the potty and twenty minutes after that trying to find space on your desk for the frame. Because you have TWELVE other photos of her, clogging up your cube. For the rest of the day, your incessant jabbering is peppered with statements like the following: “Oh, I like your skirt, pink is my daughter’s favorite color,” “Ooh, you’re eating popcorn, my daughter loves popcorn,” “Is that a SpongeBob screensaver? My daughter knows all the words to the theme song,” and “Oh, that’s a cute picture of your baby, did I tell you that I’m taking my daughter to an agent tomorrow?” |
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