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| loser, israeli podcasts, rage, eve, manifesto, celebs, richard cheney, falafel, pogrom, legal job, labor laws, drunk driving conviction, funny, excellent, petitionspot create a free online petition online petitions official, slut wife, shwarma, screen, rape stories, | Friend Guy countered with, "Billy Mays is the Stain Specialist because he has a beard." And I opened sledging(cricket) my mouth and out came the sledging(cricket) biggest internet cliche since the for christ sakes hampster dance: "Chuck Norris has a sledging(cricket) beard, and you don't see him using a Gopher!" Friend Guy said, "He's Chuck Norris, and he could..." he struggled to find the best part of the Chuck Norris list. I waved my hand in the "go on..." gesture. "He could Chuck Norris that door open!" finished Friend Guy. "Chuck Norris the door open!" scoffed Cashier Guy as I walked out the door without the Gopher, Chuck Norris, or a cheapskate of a husband. |
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| Then I went to check out in the garden center because the lines up front were longer than manifesto Dirk Diggler's cock. And the guy at the checkout was talking to his friend about "the gopher," the metal rod with the grabby thing on the end fat people use to pick shit up so they don't have to bend over. And they were talking about how the guy on the boxused to hawk Oxy Clean and now manifesto he's selling the Gopher. And I'm sure I scared the shit out of these two guys, like I scare manifesto everybody, when I looked over at the Gopher and said, "That's Billy Mays, 'The Stain Specialist.' Who made him the Stain Specialist? My mother could be the Stain Specialist." That commercial has always pissed me off. And we have almost a full can of OxiClean in the laundry room, cause the shit don't work.But if they were scared of my crazy ass they played it off well. Cashier Guy said, "That's very true. Your mother could be the stain specialist." |
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