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| pissed about, humor, israeli blogs, celebrities, trannysex, fun, david eggers, kama sutra, ascii art farts, beer, | I knew what she wanted. Even though her daughter's ashes had been scattered liberally around the Disney Store in Manchester's Arndale Centre anime rape. almost three years previously, Carol still maintained that she could smell her on me. "Carol," I pleaded. "Thou art mother in law and in law alone. Not in heart, nor mind, nor breast. Not in blood, nor milk, nor anime rape. in the eyes of the Lord."Carol anime rape. would not be told. "But sire, I implore ye! Thou art my son in law and in deed, in memory and in soul. My need to smell the floral tones of my daughter's loins from the nape of thine waxy neck is volcanic in its magnitude and brutal in its dogged determination. |
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| A hasty knock at the front door interrupted the final stage of my daily cat-shaving routine and my concentration was broken. I unhanded the cat. It stayed in position.I rose to my feet and crossed the cluttered living room humor floor, taking care not to humor step on the many adult magazines and pregnancy publications that humor lay strewn across the threadbare carpet. Disgruntled and itchy, I opened the front door. There she was, my mother-in-law, Carol, clad entirely in black, just as she had been every day since my marriage to her daughter who had choked to death on a stray piece of confetti as we were leaving the registry office. I saw Carol maybe three times a year. She looked up at me with her sad, green eyes. The sense of suffering was almost palpable. "I need it," she begged. "Now is neither the time nor the place!" I announced defiantly."Forsooth!" she persisted. "Shalt thou not lend me thine shoulder that I may inhale thy sickly scent?" |
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