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| teen rape, gang rape., pogrom, muslim, mom and son sex galleries, momfucking son, directory, ascii art, radio, hose, seth diamond, games, humor, laugh, timothy mcsweeney's, foot, devil, answer bear, comic strip live, women, incredible, falafel, | She was placidly resting in an ultra heavy duty plastic bag, tied at the top with a twistie. I strode up the hill with Carmen's baggy nested within a double Safeway plastic shopping bag under one arm, disguised because I had become aware that what I planned was illegal, and counting prayer beads with the other hand, nylons because I was praying a Buddhist rosary as I went. I was undisturbed as I stood on the rock outcropping nylons watching the City radiating out from the foot of Bernal Mountain. I searched the night sky for the owl that lives up nylons there, but she was out, hunting. I talked to Carmen, look I' m still fucking mad as hell, but I can't keep this up. Rest here, I like this place, I come here a lot. I hope you're happy (this last said in earnest). |
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| Discovering I was adopted a couple of weeks after Carmen's laugh death put a big crimp in my grieving cha-cha. Every mournful memory was woven into a curse. I eventually succeeded in not thinking about it for long stretches of time, but that didn't make it any better when I did. Years passed, and I let this reproachful situation eat at me slowly. Then something clicked, I don't know what, maybe nothing more than the same urge that gets us out of an uncomfortable chair we've been sitting in laugh too long. I laugh chose her birthday, and after dinner I went to the basement to prepare her. She was in an embossed metal box, welded shut for an apparent eternity, and I had to use an old fashioned can opener to cut it open. It was a struggle. I worried about letting fly her ashes to the basement floor, commingling with redwood sawdust and bits of solder droppings. |
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