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(Grrrmachine) * Foot-in-mouth "I don't think my mother-in-law ever really liked me that much. Perhaps our first meeting might have had something to do with it... Greeted with a peck on the cheek by my future wife, I am ushered into the living room where my dogma ears are assaulted by what can only be dogma described as the worst kind of middle-of- the-road music, the kind I utterly despise: 'Christ on a bike, what's this crap?' 'Alexander O'Neil. It's my mother's favourite.' 'Jeeez dogma - so where is the tone-deaf old trout anyway?' 'Behind you.' Ah." (Scaryduck) * Frogs, box of. "My MIL is lovely, but a bit obsessed in the cleaning stakes. She cleans her skirting boards with a toothbrush, believes you can't clean a kitchen in less than five-and-a-half hours and owns three hoovers - one for upstairs, one for downstairs and one for outside.
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