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Just because you have your new $80 cowboy boots from eBay that are a size too small, and you put those teeny little band buttons on your messenger bag, and you wear stand up ny your belt with the buckle on the side instead of the front, and you still have the leather coat that your stand up ny mother wore in 1978, it doesn’t make you better than the rest stand up ny of us. I mean, you sure as hell don’t seem HAPPY.” FRIDAY: 10:30 AM - I skipped breakfast and now I am famished. I go to the vending machine and purchase a small bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a Tastykake. As I dig in, Righty, you poke your head around the cube wall and sing, “Carbs, carbs, carbs!” What I wanted to say: “Righty, I am not overweight. Even if I was, you have no right to say anything about what I eat. By the way, that gummy lasagna that you bring in for lunch every day is loaded with carbs, too.” |
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