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Sign Up to Receive Our Newsletters Born to Steal by Gary Weiss PART ONE SANTA CLAUS CHAPTER ONE Louis always knew that Santa Claus was a crock of shit. As far back as he could remember, he didn't buy into the Santa case law thing. Back when he wasn't big enough to stand up, maybe then he believed all that garbage. But by the time he was five he knew where the presents came from. He saw them in the upstairs closet. When they brought out Uncle Sal case law on Christmas Eve he could see through the glued-on white beard. What case law did they think he was, an idiot? He knew there was no Santa Claus and no Tooth Fairy and no Easter Bunny and no God. Jesus walked on water? A snake told Eve not to eat the apple? Kiss my ass, he'd say. It was all a fable, to give people faith. A good thing, for sure. Louis would go to church with his grandmother when he was a little kid.
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