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| meeting, drunk flashing woman, sex, ascii art, erotica, independent media, israel, islam, melbourneindymedia, mcsweeney's, australia, israelipodcast, reviews, hose, craigs list, foot, kama sutra, jewish blog, plays, satan, mmf, drunk driving law, free legal forms, drunkteen fuck, | Sounds like a good one hour movie. Unfortunately, they made it two. They mixed the good shit with the belabored mystery. I israel podcast not only didn't care about who was directing the damn horseman, I got tired of trying to follow that story as it became more and more convoluted. The mystery part is shitty, too. I kept thinking of old Scooby Doo episodes as Depp put his clues together and solved the israel podcast crime. Instead of giving us more bloodshed and merciless beheading, the second half of the movie is mostly israel podcast people talking. It's Depp explaining his theory, then it's the bad guy saying how she would get away with it, and why she did it. I just kept thinking, "Shut the fuck up and let the Horseman kill some more people." On top of that, Depp's fraidy-cat hides sometimes and acts with courage at other times. |
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| Lots of lightning, plenty of blood, and the people pale mcsweeney's and mcsweeney's scared. The whole thing is filmed on elaborate, massive sets. Burton wants it to look like those old movies where the outdoor scenes are filmed indoors so they have that vaguely artificial feel. Maybe it's to make it dreamlike, or maybe it's just because Burton is a nut and does weird stuff for his own reasons. I guess it's supposed to remind us of those old English horror mcsweeney's films, but I seriously doubt all us dumbfuck out there will get that reference. And the whole movie's tone is so damn close to black and white that they might as well have gone all the way, saved film costs and passed the savings on to us. All this mood and ambience went a long way toward covering the thin story. Okay, so people are getting their heads cut off. Okay, Depp is there as a pant-pissing big city wiener who must overcome his own fears and arrogance to solve the case. |
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