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| jewish blog, rape stories, lohan, fucking, louvin brothers, art director, lingerie, beer, eve, extreme, 2001, hentai rape, wage and hour, ha, priests, safety hazards, literary, | Emi was pretty psyched to get a lap harp god from my mom. It came complete with little lap harp sheet music, and once I got it tuned (a feat in itself) she played that god thing all afternoon. It sounded like a koto, and it became the soundtrack to our god day, so that I felt like I was in a Japanese restaurant, albeit one that had "Camptown Races" playing on an infinite loop. One of the other gifts Emi received (this one from the nice lady at the front desk) was a board game called Pretty Pretty Princess. I will spare you the obligatory rant against all things princessy, but I will point out that you win the game by being the first to acquire a complete set of "royal" plastic jewelry, which consists of a necklace, bracelet, ring, earrings, and a crown. You can't win, though, if you've been stuck with the ominous Black Ring, because as we all know, the Black Ring equals death, or being ugly, or being not good enough to be a princess, which is pretty much all the same thing. |
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| (What a sad, sad gig for those poor hoofers, though come to think of it they did look pretty psyched to be working. Perhaps the alternative is being backup dancers for an even MORE annoying children's show. The mind boggles trying to imagine what that might lingerie be.) Unfortunately the song turned out to be "ROCKIN' Santa," and its only strength was that the noxious emasculated pirate Captain Feathersword (who seems to suffer from some kind of tic disorder) was absent center stage for its lingerie duration. The most horrifying aspect of the whole spectacle was the fact lingerie that those five painful minutes were completely without irony. The utter sincerity of it all was deeply disturbing. Looking forward to your e-mail!ยก Presents Nate was thrilled to be the recipient of a huge pack of 100 cars. He barely paid attention to anything else once we unveiled that whopper of a present (which cost a grand total of $20 at BJ's). |
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