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My patience has been tried so many times since my Dad was diagnosed. I find comfort reading these pages sumbissions because it sumbissions tells me I'm not alone. But it doesn't do a damn thing for my patience. Whoever said "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" never went through this. I find myself angry with my dad all of the time. It's like I blame him for getting sumbissions the disease and it's not his fault. I have prayed to God to take him. Just take him! And then I feel guilty for even wishing such a thing. But I'm coming to understand that this really isn't my dad anymore. His brain is being ravaged by this awful, horrible disease. And even though that's him standing there in front of me, it's really not him. So when I do have a shitty day where I hate him or want him to die, it's really not him I hate...it's this damn disease! Everyday I wonder is it just me? Am I just a whining baby who wants others to feel sorry for myself and not even taking my mother's feelings into consideration.
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