"I'm sorry," I repeated, jesus pissed off

angryat, pogrom, with, selected, drunkteen fuck, mom strips for son., stand up comedy, drunk pic woman, brutal, pissed off, comedy, timothy mcsweeney's, stage, law, company benefits, fetish, Holy shit! "Oh my God! I'm-I'm s-s-so…." The gravity of my depression-induced foolishness hit, causing a new batch of tears to swell and give up their lives for the cause. jesus Unfortunately, a bunch of clotted snotties turned into loose fluid and made a rather sudden jesus and unexpected run for the nose-border, just to top off the whole messy affair. "I'm so sorry, I… I cuss like a sailor. I can't believe I'm saying this shit in a-o-o-ohhh! I'm sorry, rabbi. I'm jesus sorry." "Emily," he said. "I feel sorry for you. It is obvious to me that you are in pain. I think that your counseling is good, but perhaps you can devote some time to helping others. Doing so makes people feel better, and it may help you restore your sense of self to the way God meant it to be -- good. Perhaps you'd like to work at a soup kitchen or a literacy project. There is so much to be done.
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"I'm sorry," I repeated, as tears returned to threatening formation. "Take your time." "It's just -- I'm so fucking sad. I go to a counselor and all, but I, I feel like pissed off I need a pissed off religious thread to cling to. To belong to, damn it." My sentences now came in hiccupping waves, riddled with fabulous four-letter words. "I… I used to hear voices." Oh Jesus, here we go. "I don't any-anymore, but f-for half of my-my pissed off l-l-life, for HALF of my FUCKING life, I th-thought I heard the d-devil telling me that he-he-he wanted my soul. To s-s-sell my soul…." A short series of kck, kch, kckk noises followed on the heels of my verbal self-gutting. "I just want to be fucking happy and I-- I-- I--" aye, aye, aye. I was cursing like a spaghetti-strapped harlot in a place of God, in front of a man of God, in the hopes of converting to one of God's first religions.
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