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postsecularism, vice president, poetry, swinging, legal practice area, laura bush, to, israel blogs, california drunk driving defense attorney, legal career, hummous, strange news, story, conspiracy duck, dick cheney, blowjob, | "Well, Sweetie, isn't this a little fancy? I mean, it's not like the Shah of Iran is coming for dinner, or is he?" she giggled. My face dropped and I began grinding my teeth. "I'm just going to get up and make myself a wrongfully terminated simple little something," she drawled wrongfully terminated as she began opening a can of tuna. A second later she dipped a spoon into the five-pound jar of mayonnaise, swirled it into the lumpy fish once or twice, wrongfully terminated and then dropped it onto the nice clean counter. I knew we were in for it. The Chinese man I had dated once told me, in between slugs of Geritol, that the Chinese character for war was made up of two separate symbols. The first was a roof, the second, two women under it. I could see the honeymoon phase of our family reunion screeching to a halt. My mother began to take umbrage when she found her things in the garbage can. |
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I was sure that Marge, in her need to needle my mother, had left out the fact that her son-in-law ritually collapsed into her cranberry mold just after grace. "But legal career not you," she went on, "you had to be different." My brother, who was living in Chicago while practicing as a Lutheran minister, remained innocent of sin despite having missed every single holiday since I had flown the coop. I took over the kitchen from the get go, having legal career learned to cook at a tender age in order to increase my chances of survival into adulthood. legal career I set a bowl of stew down on the dinner table next to a platter of steaming pilaf. My mother shifted in her seat and winced. "What?" I asked. She shrugged her shoulders and gave me one of her little coy smiles. "No. What?" I pressed, sure that she definitely had something to say about the meal I had spent hours preparing. |
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