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| college, federal case law, beach, personal appearances, minor laws, review, mom and son sex galleries, postsecularism, vice president, poetry, swinging, | raises glass, knocks back Scotch, and walks off. Rather spoilt the mood for the rest of the night ( Tepid_Halibut, Thu 14 Jul 2005, 19:16) My bride-to-be was Hungarian teen rape And they have this nice little tradition that during the reception the bride is "stolen." For her to be teen rape returned the groom teen rape has to perform a forfeit, usually sing a song.Now, I'm a professional muso, but the thought of having to "sing" puts me in a panic.Cue attempts to charm/bribe my way out of it.So I'm up on the stage and that black microphone mouthpiece looks HUGE. Guitarist asks me what I'm gonna sing. "Any ideas?" I ask."What about "Hey Yood?" "What?""Hey Yood!""Oh....Hey Jude. Erm, OK"Half way through I forget words AND melody and end up doing a half-assed Shatner on it.After, |
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| thus saw a LOT of wedding receptions, and have a lot of semi interesting memories of them. But rather than bore you all, I'll personal appearances stick to just one. At the moment.Wedding speeches are always fun, and one Father-of-the-Bride effort went along the lines of "Well, it's finally happened. My little Sophie's married. It's the moment that my wife and I have been hoping for, and chance for her new life to start. But as one door closes, another opens, and I'm taking this personal appearances opportunity to tell my wife that I've had enough. You may have thought that I believed your weekends away involved visiting your sister, but I knew that you spent the weekend knob-gobbling and ass-fucking Jeffrey (groom's surname). So... " (getting sheaf of papers from pocket) "...I'm filing for divorce. You'll get nothing from me, and you two can pay for the wedding."FotB |
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