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blog, barnard, news, networking, 1000, web dafesign, how, labor laws, jesus, weblog, sledging(cricket), links, kama sutra, hamburger harry's, andrei codrescu, "Take your time." "It's just -- I'm so fucking sad. I go to a counselor and all, but I, I feel like I need a religious thread to cling to. To belong to, damn it." My sentences now came in hiccupping waves, riddled with fabulous four-letter words. "I… I used to hear voices." Oh Jesus, here we go. "I don't any-anymore, but f-for half of my-my l-l-life, for HALF of my FUCKING life, I th-thought I heard the d-devil telling me that he-he-he wanted gotham my soul. To s-s-sell my soul…." A short series of kck, gotham kch, kckk gotham noises followed on the heels of my verbal self-gutting. "I just want to be fucking happy and I-- I-- I--" aye, aye, aye. I was cursing like a spaghetti-strapped harlot in a place of God, in front of a man of God, in the hopes of converting to one of God's first religions.
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Not a dainty drop or two, but big, fat, ugly ones how that make your cheeks scrunch up from the heat of them. I was certain my face was turning purple. Snot slowly began to melt, threatening: "We'll do it, we swear. We're getting nice and liquidy!" Rabbi Silverman quickly how left the table, went off somewhere, and was back in no time with a box of tissues. And thank God it was full. "I'm… I'm s-s-sorry," I babbled. "It's okay," he said kindly, though I could detect a weight to his voice. Bare shoulders bobbing up and down, I filled how the flimsy tissue with a pint of fluid from various cranial orifices. I sucked in a bunch of air that tripped in my throat on its way down, and stared, eyes weighing a ton, at my embarrassed knees. I could tell they were embarrassed because they were naked in a House of God (Orthodox no less), and they were turning blotchy and red like they were crying, too. "I'm sorry," I repeated, as tears returned to threatening formation.
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