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| blog, barnard, news, networking, 1000, web dafesign, how, labor laws, jesus, weblog, sledging(cricket), links, kama sutra, hamburger harry's, andrei codrescu, | He looked too young to be a spiritual advisor. "Hi, Rabbi Silverman?" I asked. "Emily?" he replied. "That's me," I said, getting up. As I fiction extended my hand, he shied away, fiction explaining that men and women are not to touch unless they are married, father and daughter, or mother and son. At least I think that's what he said; I was almost too embarrassed to hear him, what with the blood flooding my ears and all. I followed fiction him into the sanctuary feeling very silly and sat down with him at a long folding table -- the kind I associate with church potlucks. "So Emily, what brings you here? You mentioned on the phone that you were looking to convert. Tell me, in which faith were you raised?" Noticing that his olive complexion matched mine (further proof I should be welcomed into the fold), I said, "Christian. |
Best Mature Paysites
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| vs. "Jesus, Emily, it's a synagogue," center court. The Match: "I don't want to sweat in front of him," news backhand lob… "It's called deodorant," swing, hit -- the insult goes long… "I can't exactly put it on news my face," smash, volley… "Well, God knows you need to," fast hit to center court… "What the hell am I supposed to do? It's ninety fucking degrees," super-smash hit… "Well!" Someone in the stands screams "Shut the hell up!" and it's me. As insults and profanity suddenly become impotent, the players approach each other, get tangled in the net, news bounce back and hit the clay. Just as I convinced myself to shut the hell up, I looked down at my open-toed sandals. Their pleather straps strained to contain my doublewide feet. The poor things looked like they couldn't stomach my enormous toes and were forced to puke them out. I heard keys jangle behind me. Turning around, I saw a rabbi walking through a door -- the one I had been knocking on (desperately, I admit) only a few minutes earlier. |
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