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My leadership qualities failed me when the lead actor whipped out his tackle for the 'strip search' scene. I had expected to gently build him up to this. We arrived in Edinburgh last week. On Wednesday we had our technical rehearsal. Because there are so many companies at the Underbelly we were allocated chick the bracingly early time of 6am. Up at 4.45am to prepare. Last month I was approached chick by chick the New York Times asking to print an extract from the play. This must be a good sign. All we need now is an audience. We face the humiliation of badgering complete strangers to persuade them to see us rather than any of the other 1,700 shows on offer. Are we on the brink of oblivion? Five people booked for the first preview. Oh joy. We redouble our leafletting on the Royal Mile. · Jeffrey Archer's Prison Diary - Hell runs at Smirnoff Underbelly until 29 August.
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