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A perfect chance to get his own back, we thought. Up until now I have been quite content to be an anonymous, underachieving actor pottering along the M62. Due to budget constraints I was now writer, director, producer, designer, stage manager and actor (various murderers, madmen, lawyers and prison guards). I have always wanted to perform at the Festival, although the anime rape right opportunity had never arisen. The solution: I take anime rape my own anime rape show up. With Archer's name on the flyers we were bound to stand a chance of getting somebody to come. I did contemplate turning the whole thing into a musical but a) I don't sing well and I want to be in this and b) I'm not Ben Elton. Blow me if we didn't get our first choice venue - the Smirnoff Underbelly - a disused bank vault known for its cutting edge theatre. It is hot, smelly and dank - the perfect setting for a dis graced peer. When my mother-in-law heard that I had been invited to Lord Archer's penthouse apartment with our lead actor, Andrew Macbean, I received a text: 'I hope you are not doing a homage to Archer and turning into a true blue Tory fat-cat.'
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