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| whitehouse.org, dazedand confused, president, israel podcast, ascii art, drunk driving law, independent media, company benefits, sledging(cricket), excellent, jokes, jerusalem blogs, with, | fact momfucking son I am telling these stories must be evidence momfucking son I am getting old. This one time when on the worst date ever I pretended I was an ex-gigolo just to get laid. I was out of my depth but I had no money to take her out for an expensive meal. She was so impressed she paid me to buy her a present. I managed to get some shoddy crack from a local momfucking son nuttier who told me a joke about babies being nailed to trees. He also told me he had only one bollock. I asked him why and he explained that the embarrassing injury was caused by Mr. Joe McCrapalot who projectile vomited a stream of his most hated food so powerful that it actually tore it off.I found this all very arousing but unfortunately I was overheard by my date. |
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| “That’s my claim to fame” I would tell them, whilst explaining that it was the little things like his harmonica playing president that turned me on. Quite rightly people were also shocked when I showed them the newspaper cuttings of the 9” scare across Mr. O’Brian’s head from the time when I attempted president to remove his brain with a ladle whilst singing the wrong words to that song from “Interview with a Blacksheep”. I was being ignorant and it was president actually a song from Interview with a Vampire, a film I really wanted for Christmas but everyone in the office laughed and said it was just childhood bad taste. That’s when I lost it and gave my boss a near death experience when I told him about my premonition a movie star dragon fiercely hording a pile of obscure memorabilia.The |
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