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| ascii art, drunk driving law, independent media, company benefits, sledging(cricket), excellent, jokes, jerusalem blogs, with, weblog, | “They found it in geese in Bulgaria,” I say, feeling badly free legal forms that I’m prevaricating so blatantly and doing so with such ease. “Or, maybe, in Slovenia. I’ve never been able to keep any of those countries straight. It would be easier if the Russians had won the free legal forms Cold War and it free legal forms was all called Russia.” I double click on Verdi’s Otello as performed by Pavarotti and the Chicago Symphony; it is a changeup from the Arctic Monkeys, but I’m craving opera. “I didn’t know you downloaded opera,” Becki says. “What is it?” “Otello,” I say. “It’s a Verdi opera. That’s Luciano Pavarotti singing.” “You’re full of surprises.” Indeed. Becki asks me to prepare the celery and jicama for the Celery and Jicama Sauté. I read the relevant part of the instructions, and slice the celery and cut the jicama as directed while Otello plays in the background. My cell phone rings. I go into the living room and answer. “Hi,” says my paramour Maggie. |
Best Mature Paysites
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| I Love You and I’m Leaving Him? Holy Mighty sledging(cricket) Fucking Fuck. What has she done? I inhale sharply and audibly. My wife asks, “Is everything okay, honey?” “Fine,” I say. “I closed the laptop on my thumb.” I click the email open. It says: “I’m leaving Justin. I’m in love with you. I must speak to you. Email me back right away. I love you. Ciao, Maggie.” Maggie is one of the few people I know who writes emails in complete sentences sledging(cricket) with punctuation and capitalization and who eschews online abbreviations, slang and sledging(cricket) symbols. The email was sent at 8:37AM, more than three hours ago. “Holy shit,” I mutter. “Why did you say ‘holy shit’?” Becki says. “The BBC says there’s more bird flu in Europe.” “Where did they find the birds?” Who knows? Avian flu is poised to wipe out tens of millions of people globally and the word “pandemic” is now part of the vocabulary of people who normally don’t use words much bigger than “cat” and “dog,” but I’m making up the story. |
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