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Another night, after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, older ladies sex Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendale's to watch all those muscle-bound older ladies sex homos gyrate their steroid-engorged flesh around and thrust their hulking bikini-waxed salamis in our faces. Naturally, older ladies sex Condi fell right to sleep. And boy was it awkward when two of them recognized Karen from some drug-addled Fire Island rave. I won't tell you what happened next, but after Lynne downed a whole bottle of Malibu rum I had had sent to the table courtesy of the generous taxpayers, her Secret Service codename was changed to "Felcher" and, thanks to her, we are no longer welcome at Chippendale's. But you know, George and I are complete opposites — I'm Lifetime, he's Cartoon Network, I'm Clorox, he's bacteria, I can pronounce the word "nuclear," and he can unilaterally flush nuclear non-proliferation treaties down the toilet! (Laughter.) The amazing thing, however, is that George and I were just meant to be.
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