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So, I freaked out and messed up my israeli podcasts piano recital and only barely managed to save my grades, and for a while I hated him and cried every night and all that. Then we started talking again, because we talked on IM every day for two and a half years and missed each other, and IM is an easy medium to fake lightheartedness in. So for a while I pretended to be okay, I would talk to him every night on IM and we'd fall pretty easily back into our comfortable way of israeli podcasts talking to one israeli podcasts another, but every time he'd slip up and mention this other girl, or every time we'd say goodnight without I Love You I just would lose my sanity and start with the crying again. And if he didn't slip up, I would start feeling the urge to pick pick pick at it: initiating Serious Talks about how talking to him kind of sucked for me, asking him about the other girl, stalking him on these stupid forums he writes on.
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