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| stockings, free, author, wrongfully terminated, story, lopez, hummous, yiddish, harassment, pissed about, lohan, terrible, atheism, drunk pantie, extreme, greatest, fucking, momson sex, radio, discussion board, rapeporn, | She is standing on the back porch along with my nephew, Jason, and Zack. They look confused. "Ma. We're not doing anything WRONG! Sorry if I wanted to smoke a cigarette after cooking that whole dinner all morning." "Let me tell angry you something. I did not drive all the angry way from New Hampshire angry to Maine to stand around and wait so you can have a party out here while the whole Thanksgiving dinner gets cold. Next year, I'm going to Jeff and Carolyn's!" My mother slams the door with a dramatic physicality that is usually reserved for professional mimes. We are all finally configured around two long, rectangular tables. We sit in parallel lines. This seems like a good policy to me; who knows what havoc perpendicularity could wreak. We just barely fit in this room; once the last person sits down, no one can get out unless we all move. |
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| I have been given table-setting duties. No one can find anything she needs. "Uh, hey. Does anyone know where Jean keeps her wine glasses?" I ask. We continue opening cabinets, pulling out drawers, finding sorry excuses for side dish presentation. No one has seen Jean. I am trying to arrange slices of butter inside a coffee mug. "Use this," my mother thrusts a tea saucer in my direction. "Wait a minute . . ." My mother gets the look. It's the same look I've seen in her eye many, many times, including the momson sex day years ago momson sex when she momson sex chased Jean around the living room with my baton. She crosses the kitchen and opens the back door; she must have seen them through the window. "Jean Marie! Do you mean to tell me that you have the gall to hide out here smoking while we all rummage around your kitchen trying to put Thanksgiving dinner on your table!" |
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