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| with, selected, drunkteen fuck, mom strips for son., stand up comedy, drunk pic woman, brutal, pissed off, comedy, timothy mcsweeney's, stage, law, company benefits, fetish, kama sutra, internet anger, reviews, films, female comics, anime rape, magazine, | As far back as he could remember, he didn't buy into the Santa thing. Back pissed at when he wasn't big enough to stand up, maybe then he believed all that garbage. But by the time pissed at he was five he knew where the presents came from. He saw them in the upstairs closet. When they brought out Uncle Sal on Christmas Eve he could see through the glued-on white beard. What did they think he was, an idiot? He knew there was no Santa Claus and no pissed at Tooth Fairy and no Easter Bunny and no God. Jesus walked on water? A snake told Eve not to eat the apple? Kiss my ass, he'd say. It was all a fable, to give people faith. A good thing, for sure. Louis would go to church with his grandmother when he was a little kid. |
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| On his 21st birthday he went kama sutra out with some friends who introduced him to one of the kama sutra sweetest girls around town. She knew that he had never been kissed before. When she eventually got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him but he resisted. She asked him, "What are you afraid of, it won't hurt." He said, "My mother said if I kiss a girl I'll die this very minute!!" She replied, kama sutra "Don't be a baby, now come on kiss me." With that she gave him a hot one square across the lips. He began to cry, "Oh no I'm going to die!!!" She said, "Why are you going to die??" He replied, "I've just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!!" Email this page to a friend! Sign Up to Receive Our Newsletters Born to Steal by Gary Weiss PART ONE SANTA CLAUS CHAPTER ONE Louis always knew that Santa Claus was a crock of shit. |
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