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| with, selected, drunkteen fuck, mom strips for son., stand up comedy, drunk pic woman, brutal, pissed off, comedy, timothy mcsweeney's, stage, law, company benefits, fetish, kama sutra, internet anger, reviews, films, female comics, anime rape, magazine, | He calls over his waiter and says, "Send that woman a bottle of your most expensive champagne, on me." The waiter quickly brings the champagne over to the woman, and says, "Ma'am, this is from the gentleman over there." She says to the waiter, "Please tell him that for me to accept this champagne, he better have a Mercedes in his garage, a million dollars pictures in the pictures bank, and eight inches in his pants." The waiter delivers the message, and the guy says, "Please go back and tell her I have two Mercedes in my garage, three million dollars in the bank, but I haven't even met her...so why the fuck would I cut off four inches?" A guy is walking around in a supermarket yelling, "Cris-co, Cris-co?" A store clerk says to him, "Sir, the Crisco is in Aisle Five." |
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| Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says "Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world comedy are?" The other trucker says, "I don't know, who?" The roadway driver replies "Me and my brother." Bob says to Lester, "You comedy know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do it a comedy little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to go to Hawaii, I went to Hawaii, and Marie got pregnant. Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas, I went to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again." Lester says, "So what you gonna do different this year?" Bob says, "This year, I'm takin' Marie with me..." A guy's eating in a restaurant and spots a gorgeous woman sitting all alone. |
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