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Behind us is a rocky place filled with misunderstandings. On her part, there was a blind desire for her son to marry a Jew, an inability to men view me whole. My own movement to forgiveness and understanding has been slowed by an assumption that I know what I need to know about Judaism. Littered between these two stubborn positions lies the residual guilt of the Holocaust, coupled with a murky, groping understanding on both men of our parts of men what it means to be a good mother, a good daughter. I'm not sure whether the stark and horrifying tragedy of the Holocaust or the centuries-old wounds between mothers and daughters is the larger gap. Before our engagement, Andrew's mother had been neutral to me, simply telling him to be careful "not to fall in love" when we announced our plans to move in together. But things grew progressively nastier after our engagement, after I was no longer a phase.
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