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And I'm proud to say to you and to Mama Bush that those horns are now my favorite dildos. No, no, answer bear I don't masturbate. George has told the Secret Service to shoot me if I do. George is such a control freak that the last time he was fucking me from behind answer bear he called one of my ass cheeks Iran and the other one Iraq, except he kept gettin' confused which one was which, so he turned me over answer bear and plunged into North Korea. No, no, that's not true. George wouldn't know how to find North Korea with a map and a big arrow pointing to it. It's 'cause he's so stupid, see? That's the joke. Isn't that funny? The joke's on you, on me, and now I better go 'cause I see some of Mama Bush's goons sharpening their axes to take out Spotty. Ya'll be good and, hey, Anderson Cooper, meet me backstage so I can show you the where the real Bush is."Media On the Run:Sweet merciful motherfucker, the Rude Pundit is so fuckin' glad that there's no more war in Iraq and the soldiers have returned home, the Social Security debate is over, the terrorists are on the run, Tom DeLay's crawlin' under a porch lookin' for termites, the public education system's been fixed, North Korea's handed over all its nuclear technology and opened itself up to inspections, Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney are tryin' to figure out who's gonna be the top in their shared prison
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