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| fucking, louvin brothers, art director, lingerie, beer, eve, extreme, 2001, hentai rape, wage and hour, ha, | I hold him more. Tighter. I smell christ him. I kiss him, and smile at his adorable face, his potential. For a moment I'm jealous of the woman who has this man as her Carter. "Thank you," I say. "Don't mention it," he replies. And then he grins shyly. "Thank you." I almost stumble to my christ car, and I drive home feeling woozy. Carter is asleep in christ our warm bed, dreaming, and I join him there. One week later, the doctor tells me that I'm pregnant. She tells me that I've been pregnant for a month, and I'm relieved; it's Carter's baby. But it still excites me to think that that new almost-person was already there when that man was inside me. Time passes. Sometimes I rewind my life so that all my sexual encounters blur together in one long movie in my head, grainy and flickering, sloppily edited; a quick scene in the dark, and another, and another. Whose arm, whose leg? My lips tracing the line of whose jaw, searching for a mouth to kiss. The squeak of a bedframe, the quiet of a mattress on the floor, the blare of the horn when my back bumps somebody's steering wheel. |
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| Carter is hopeful; he makes love earnestly. He wants to find a million new ways to pleasure me. He wants to understand, claim, and seduce every nerve on my skin. He wants to fill me and spill me over like popping the cork of champagne. I don't feel guilty. I feel like my mother for one last moment. She never wanted to settle down. For her, 2001 the world was a sea of cock primed for fucking, a thousand ways to fill the same hole. I had felt that same need and this man 2001 beside me in 2001 the back of a car had filled it. My last zipless fuck. Devotion washes over me, an emotional orgasm; all my aimless desire seems to focus, to narrow onto Carter. I close my eyes and fill myself with him. "I should go home," I say to this sweet man, supplicant across my naked body. "I should go, too," he says. We slide off one another and pick up our clothes, silent. My body is tingly. We share a laugh as he opens the back hatch of the car and we climb out, and standing in the rain, he holds me for a moment. |
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