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| andrei codrescu, college drunk girl, jennifer, wbar, reviews, hummus, writing, comedy, prayer, erin patrice bennett, priests, fucking, and, 2004, company benefits, mama, 1996 cricket world cup, | Whatever, this isn’t about my brother confession or my father, this is about my bad week and what my mother has to do with it. And I’m not here to bash my mother, not at all. My mother is one of the most ambitious and dynamic women on the planet, a machine who needs only four hours confession of sleep a night and can magically wash and dry over 20 loads of laundry before I stumble out of bed in the morning, I don’t know how she does it. My mother takes her job and her confession role in our family very seriously, so seriously that she can hold a conference call with 25 of the most important people in Avon while her twin grandsons are dangling from both her ears and screaming for more Fruit Roll-ups. Whenever I meet my mother’s colleagues and employees and they find out that I am her daughter, it’s as if suddenly it’s 1985 and I’m Michael Jackson and they are an idiot 14-yr old Japanese school girl. |
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| If everything goes well and writing as planned and without any hiccups, fingers crossed and prayers to our pagan god, my husband and I will be ending our four-month sentence in my mother’s suburban basement in three to four weeks. I haven’t talked much or specifically about living with writing my mother because family can be such a delicate issue sometimes, and my brother and father may be reading this website. My mother is most likely not reading this website, primarily because she is the writing type of person who would say, “I am aware of what my daughter is doing, I just don’t need to punish myself by reading about it.” My brother and father, on the other hand, are the type of people who would say, “I know what she’s doing, and although it’s going to be difficult to read about it, I am COMPELLED to do so, if only for the sheer, morbidly delicious sustenance it will provide my righteous indignation.” |
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