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I comedian think about conversations I could have with the rapist. I daydream about visiting him in prison, staring into his eyes, asking him why and how, and him just staring at me, through the glass, me listening to his breath on comedian the phone receiver. He tells me that he took pleasure in the deception. "You will never know the power I have known," he says, "The ability to say dance and they dance. You sit out there and ask me comedian questions that you can't ever understand." I tell him I want to understand and he stares at me, his dead, glazed eyes looking at my eyes, my mouth. "You want to know what it's like? Imagine when you were a boy and you were fishing. Now think about when you would catch a fish, and when you pull it up the fish is dancing on the line, throwing off water, hooking itself deeper. Now think about when you get that fish on the dock and you grip it tightly and get out the needlenose pliers and pull that hook out, trying so carefully not to tear the mouth of the fish.
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