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BY FRANK TEMPONE - - - - Dear Mom (do not, under any circumstances, tell my mother I addressed you that way), We're nervous. I have to be honest with you. My wife (your daughter) asked, "Honey, should we leave a note for her?" and to be the strong one, I told her to adult trust you. That, Jesus Christ, you are the boy's grandmother, and adult so on. The truth, though, is that we're unsure, which is why you are finding this note adult wrapped around the liverwurst I know you love so much. My wife knows nothing about this. I hope you know that it would be best not to tell her about this note. You wouldn't be protecting me, mind you, but the fragile confidence your daughter has developed thanks to my assurances and tender words regarding your competence as a grandmotherly person.
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