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I'll slowly give them the whole story as they get older and they can decide what to do with it. But there was no way I'm going to build him up mature sexy lady to be a great guy. Eventually, they are going to want to mature sexy lady meet him. When that time comes, he is going to try and make ME out to be the bad mature sexy lady guy ("I tried to see you and be a dad, but your mother wouldn't let me. She only wanted the money.") I'll be damned if I'm going to defend my self against someone that didn't even bother where the kids were concerned, but that doesn't mean I have the right to train my children to HATE him. To me what you are doing is 100% right, and when your kids grow up they will make their own decision, and they will probably see your point it. I grew up without knowing my father, he had nothing to do with me. I used to ask questions to my mom as I was growing up and got sort of the same answers then she would change the subject. I was in my middle 20's and decided I wanted to meet my dad, yes he did blame my mom...
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