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My mother, who had learned enough adolescent psychology to be dangerous, stood by shywife mutely as I brought home an assortment of baffling characters. Although polite by nature, she could not refrain from staring wide eyed at the 45-year-old Chinese immigrant I had adopted as my first boyfriend, casually commenting, "Say, I bet shywife he'll be a real hit at the prom." Within months I had moved into my Che Guevara stage and had found myself a nice Ecuadorian boy who had yet to learn English. My mother was grateful that he was not old enough to shywife collect social security as, she fondly noted, the last one had been. Impassioned by Orianna Fallaci's writings on her tour of Hanoi, I soon found myself a Vietnamese sweetheart. As a chronically depressed political refugee, he made Franz Kafka seem relatively jubilant, thereby curtailing any serious involvement I may have had with him. By this time my mother had abandoned all hope that I would ever hook up with the next door neighbor. We're all seeking that special person who is right for us.
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