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(Remember that time I drunk sex told you that I never, ever forget?) One other thing: our son (your grandson) has developed a bit of lactose intolerance. The drunk sex doctor says it's normal and temporary, but that we should monitor it closely. Please avoid slicing bits of mozzarella for the boy while you're cutting it up for yourself. Also, no milk. And (big favor here) when you change drunk sex his diaper, if you would scoop some of his cute little poopies onto your fingers and feel the consistency, wash your hands thoroughly, then record your findings on the attached spreadsheet, it would be most appreciated. Throw away the little miniature golf scorecard pencil when you've finished. I left 100 of them in a box for you next to the toaster. Our son's bedtime is 8 PM. You should go to bed soon after that. Try to keep in mind how you get when you stay up all night playing solitaire on our computer.
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